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How to know if you are an overly strict parent

How to know if you are an overly strict parent


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Children often suffer too many 'no' at home and on other occasions parents know that they must apply discipline rules but they do not know if these techniques are too strict or if they are adequate.

There are parents who tend not to be too strict (perhaps a bit permissive), but others, not knowing if they are really doing it well or not, they are, and a lot.

It is necessary for parents to assess whether or not they are being too strict with their children, since if the answer is yes they will have to look for a more consistent form of teaching in childhood. Children do not need too strict rules, they need well-established consequences, flexibility, understanding that they are responsible for their actions, and above all, knowing what is expected of them at all times.

1. At home there are too many rules. One sign that you are too strict is that you set so many rules that you are not able to follow them all. It is necessary to establish fewer rules but be consistent in their reinforcement, so you can mark the rules as very important.

2. Your child's behavior conditions your feelings towards them. If you say things to your child like: 'Very good, but you can do better', or 'I love you, but if you don't behave like that, I'll get mad at you', or maybe: 'You'll be miserable if you don't listen to me', careful! These phrases and others like them can directly attack your little one's self-esteem.

3. The rules don't respect children. For example, in adolescence, children may listen to music with obscene language or play violent video games. Parents can set limits and teens say it's their personal taste… so there may be a power struggle. So that this does not happen, it is necessary to discuss and weigh openly with your child what is better and what is not in order to decide what to do at a certain time.

4. You don't measure your words. Many parents do not measure their words, nor do they measure the manner or tone in which they are used. In this sense, it is necessary to know that quiet voices can say anything. The way in which things are said is often more important than the content.

5. Threats many times. If you tell your children that you are going to do something (often nonsensical like you are going to throw away all their toys) and then you don't, your child knows that this is not going to happen and that what you have said is an empty threat that it is useless. Threats need to be thought through carefully before saying them.

6. Your children are seen, but they are not heard. Children have learned that they don't need to talk because it doesn't matter what they say. With an authoritarian style they also do not trust their parents to communicate openly, so if children do not have the opportunity to express their opinions they will not feel the need to do so. Parents do not have to agree on what they say, but they must be allowed to say it.

You can read more articles similar to How to know if you are an overly strict parent, in the category Limits - Discipline on site.


Video: How To Command Respect Without Being a Jerk (December 2022).